Buffy Marathon
by Elf-Stalker
Summary: Buffy, Willow, Xander, Giles, Joyce, and Spike find themselves in Buffy's living room, and there's a Buffy marathon on TV . . . . . . please R&R!!!!!!!
1. School Hard

Disclaimer: Nothing Buffy belongs to me. Nothing. I know, it's horrible. I asked nicely. But did I get the rights? No. Selfish Joss, keeps it all to himself.  
  
Timeline: Nowhere particular. We'll just say sometime between season 2 and season 3.  
  
Title: Buffy Marathon  
  
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Buffy, Xander, Willow, Giles, and Spike found themselves in Buffy's living room. Joyce came bursting out of the kitchen excitedly.  
  
"Well, everyone's here! Why don't you all sit down and watch some TV?"  
  
"Um, why is he here?" Xander asked, pointing at Spike.  
  
"For once, you ask an intelligent question." Spike said sarcastically. "I'll be going now."  
  
"No you won't." Said Joyce.  
  
"And what's going to stop me?" Spike asked.  
  
"The fact that it's quite nice and sunny outside." Joyce glanced at the closed curtains. "And I have hot chocolate with little marshmallows."  
  
"Oh. Well then." Spike sat down, taking up half the couch.  
  
"Spike! Move over!" Buffy complained.  
  
"What if I don't want too?"  
  
"Spike." Joyce said sternly. "Do you want hot chocolate or not?"  
  
"I should just kill you all and steal the little marshmallow's." Spike muttered and moved over.  
  
The scoobies sat down, and turned on the TV. Giles flipped through channels, and it seemed nothing interesting was on. That was until they heard the mid commercial-break reminder: "You're watching: Buffy, the Vampire Slayer."  
  
"Hey! That's me!" Buffy exclaimed.  
  
"But why is there a TV show about you?" Willow wanted to know.  
  
Buffy shrugged. "Does it matter? I'm famous."  
  
"I'm not sure if that's a good thing." Giles said, worriedly.  
  
"As long as they don't kill you before I do." Spike told her.  
  
* * *  
  
They were watching the opening credits.  
  
"It's me again!" Said Buffy. "But who's Sarah Michelle Gellar?"  
  
"Dunno." Xander said. "Look, it's me!"  
  
"And me!" Said Willow.  
  
"And me." Giles said, the only one not excited. "This could very well turn into another apocalypse."  
  
Everyone ignored Giles.  
  
"How come I'm not on there?" Spike asked. "I am the Big Bad after all."  
  
"That's because this episode is School Hard." Joyce explained. "Season 2. You're not a regular until season 4."  
  
"Oh." Spike said, pretending this all made sense.  
  
* * *  
  
The scoobies had their eyes glued to the screen as Spike stuffed the anointed one into a cage, and threw it into the sunlight.  
  
The Spike sitting in the living room was jumping up and down and yelling at the television. "Take that, you bleedin' annoying one! I turned you into a sodding pile of dust!"  
  
"Spike calm down!" Buffy yelled at him.  
  
"That was a day worth remembering." Spike said, ignoring Buffy. "You should have seen the looks on all their faces when the annoying one burned. Priceless."  
  
Giles, being Giles, looked worried. "All that actually happened. There must be some demon following us! The worlds going to end! Everybody run!"  
  
"Shh." Willow shushed him. "Be quiet, it's back on."  
  
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AN: So, Did you like it? Please review!!! I don't really know why Joyce knows everything about the TV show, she just does.  
  
Giles: How come I don't get to know everything? Me: I don't know. Have a lollipop. (Hands Giles a lollipop.) Giles: (Happily sucking on lollipop.) I love lollipops! Me: Really! How nice. (To Joss) See, you should give me the rights, I'd make everyone happy. Joss: Which is why I can't give it to you. Me: So you want everyone to be endlessly tormented? Joss: Yes. Me: You are very evil, did you know that? Joss: (Grins evilly.) Yes. Me: You might as well take my lollipops. (Throws box of lollipops at Joss.) Joss: (Runs off with lollipops.) Me: Damn it.  
  
I know, this chapter was pretty short, I'll try to make the next one longer. Once again, Review!!! 


	2. Hush

Disclaimer: I still don't own the rights to Buffy. Joss (and some other people) still do.  
  
Spoilers: Hush  
  
AN: Please review! Sorry it took so long for me to post this. = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =  
  
"Hey look, it's me!" Spike cried excitedly. They were watching the opening credits once again.  
  
"Oh, it's Hush!" Joyce was also excited. "I love this one."  
  
"Ewwww!" Buffy cried in disgust, watching the Buffy on-screen kiss Riley. "Who is that and why am I kissing him?"  
  
"That's Riley." Joyce told Buffy.  
  
"Why am I kissing him? He's ugly. Even . . . . . " Buffy looked around the room. "Even Spike is sexier than him. And Spike's eeeeeeeevil." She said, dragging out the 'e.'  
  
"Damn right." Spike agreed.  
  
Willow gaped at Buffy. "You guys just agreed on something."  
  
"Buffy just said I was evil and sexy." Spike explained. "Why would I disagree?"  
  
"I did not!" Buffy protested.  
  
"Yes you did." Spike told her.  
  
"Shut up." Buffy told him. "I want to watch."  
  
* * *  
  
"Who's orgasm girl?" Spike asked Xander, as on-screen Anya angrily told the on-screen Xander,  
  
"You don't care about me, all you care about is a bunch or orgasms!"  
  
Both on-screen and other Xander turned bright red. "Um, I don't know."  
  
* * *  
  
"You bloody idiot!" Spike yelled at the television. "Why aren't you hitting him back?!"  
  
None of the TV characters could talk, and Xander thought Spike had been feeding off Anya. So, the on-screen Xander continuously punched a helpless Spike.  
  
The Spike sitting in the living room could not understand why Xander was being allowed to punch him. "It's not that hard!" He yelled at the television. "Just punch him! You've done it before!" Buffy had to pin Spike to the floor as he tried to reach over her to where Xander was sitting, and make him pay for what was happening to the Spike on the television.  
  
* * *  
  
The episode ended with everyone getting their voices back, and an awkward moment between Buffy and Riley.  
  
"I liked the first one better." Spike told Buffy. "I almost killed you."  
  
"Almost being the key word." Buffy responded.  
  
"Well I would have killed you, but your mum showed up with ax and hit me in the back of the head." Spike leaned closer to Buffy. "She thought I was a drug addict, what if she starts thinking you're a drug addict?"  
  
Buffy's eyes widened. "Mom? What did you do with that ax?"  
  
"I put it away." Joyce said innocently, glancing at the kitchen.  
  
"But the last one was better." Spike said again.  
  
"Yeah." Buffy agreed. "I wasn't kissing some freak in that one."  
  
"You guys just agreed again." Willow said, laughing as Buffy and Spike jumped away from each other.  
  
"So, Giles." Buffy said, changing the subject. "What channel is this on?"  
  
"12." Giles told her. "Buffy this is serious, we might have an app-"  
  
"It can't be 12." Buffy told him. "We don't get channel 12."  
  
"You must Buffy, because this is channel 12. But we need to focus on-"  
  
"No." Buffy argued. "I already told you, channel 12 doesn't work."  
  
"Yes it does, but that is not the pressing matter right now."  
  
"Are you suggesting I'm wrong?" Buffy asked Giles coldly.  
  
"No Buffy, of course not-"  
  
"I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!" She yelled.  
  
Joyce, Spike, Xander, and Willow were all staring at Buffy.  
  
"Of course, Buffy, of course." Giles said. "But we might have a problem here."  
  
"Yeah." Buffy said, no longer paying much attention as the fact that she was right had been established.  
  
"What if this is the future?" Giles said. "It could be a very dangerous tool if put in the wrong hands."  
  
"Yeah." Buffy agreed. "We'd better stay here and watch it so we can be sure nothing evil gets it."  
  
"Are you suggesting I'm not evil?" Spike asked, offended.  
  
"No." Buffy told him. "If you weren't evil I wouldn't have an excuse to beat you up whenever I felt like it."  
  
"Buffy, Spike." Giles said. "Would you please stay focused on the topic at hand?"  
  
"Don't worry Giles." Buffy told him. "I'll stay here and guard my TV show."  
  
Giles sighed. His slayer could be very frustrating at times.  
  
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End file.
